In the world of XBox FPS gaming, one can usually expect to hear the cries of “FUCKING CAMPERS,” “CAMPING FAGS,” and “BLOODY CAMPERS” (for our UK friends) within only minutes of exposure to the garbage-filled realm known as game chat. If there was ever an insult that could be labeled as “most overused” and “most nonsensical,” this may perhaps be it.

For those who live under a rock (a.k.a. have a life outside of video games and the internet – as sad as it may be) and aren’t familiar with what a camper is, it’s best described as a player who, in a game where people run around and shoot each other, remains in basically the same location for the duration of the game, usually firing upon (and killing) other unsuspecting gamers that happen to run by.

So what, right?

Don’t be so reasonable! This is serious business. Campers, while often having very successful gaming sessions (meaning they kill more than they are killed), tend to seriously upset many gamers. This is especially true of penis-bearing gamers between the ages of 12 and 18, although I have personally witnessed many 30+ year old gamers that were miraculously filled with the vitriol of their pubescence upon encountering a camper.

The problem, though, is that I simply cannot see how camping is bad. In fact, if you use the actual military as any sort of standard, you discover things like:

Snipers, or “snipahs” if you’re cool like that. These guys lie in wait for hours on end, even days one end at times, waiting for that one single headshot to turn the tide of battle. Being a sniper is generally regarded with high esteem in military circles. It requires skill, finesse, and perhaps most of all, extreme patience.

“But that faggot wasn’t sniping, he was using a blah blah blah . . .” And yes, that is an actual quote from a game session. So, on to exhibit B:

Foreword Operating Bases, or FOBs. Boy do these guys CAMP. And I mean seriously, they even have tents! Look! These sons-of-bitches just sit in the desert all day waiting to kill the enemy. Lazy, I know. They should be running around aimlessly in the desert shooting at things, wouldn’t you say? Maybe they didn’t get the memo.

“Okay, but this is a video game, not the real army,” you say. To which I reply, “EXACTLY SO STOP BITCHING ABOUT A VIDEO GAME YOU DOLT.”

From what I can tell, the anger of camping really comes from the fact that you just died. It’s that simple. You’re upset that you died and you didn’t make your kill streak bonus and now you are looking for a convenient insult. Usually, however, camper is used to imply that it takes less skill to camp and kill than to move through the game map and kill. This is patently false, period. It is simply a lie with no basis in reality whatsoever, for these reasons:

1. Camping actually presents extra difficulty in that once you have been ID’d as a camper, your location is revealed to most of the enemy team. You’re a sitting duck.
2. The anger of your enemy fuels their desire to retaliate. Your enemy is likely to be so angry that you just killed three of his teammates by sitting in a dark corner that you become a marked man. Again, a sitting duck.
3. The patience and level of alertness required when camping in many spots actually requires the gamer sacrifice the fun of running around racking up kills.
4. There are, as shown above, many examples from real life where “camping” is an effective war strategy, so campers certainly are playing by the rules.
5. Most importantly, camping does not violate any sort of rule regarding gameplay, and is not a glitch, hack, or cheat. It’s a free-choice playing style.

So, STFU. Campers = WIN!

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